Fire Me, Or
by Denaliyasha
Summary: Gibbs orders Tony to take Kate out... Set after the line about Gibbs looking like he was going to fire Kate or send her undercover as DiNozzo's wife. Tate and implied GAbby.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: Not mine. Obviously. You know, one of these days I'm going to create something for TV that's huge, just so I don't have to disclaim it.

A/N: I saw the episode, don't even know the name, and I haven't seen much of it. Actually, I've pretty much just seen this line. So no jumping on me if there's a problem. Have fun!

Fire Me, Or… 

"Gibbs, you're scaring me. You look like you're about to fire me, or send me undercover as DiNozzo's wife."

Gibbs leaned back, sipping his coffee. "However did you guess?" He asked, nonchalantly.

Kate spit out her coffee, and it wasn't because it was too strong. "You can't be serious!"

"As a heart attack." Seeing the look on Kate's face, he softened a bit. "Well, ok, you don't have to go as his wife. In fact, you're not really going undercover. But you are going to be his date."

"FOR WHAT?"

"There's a ball of sorts coming up. The president will be there. Therefore, we are required to take dates. It's too formal to be dateless. Therefore, you're going with DiNozzo."

"Why can't I go with McGee?" Kate was desperate.

"McGee, somehow, has gotten himself a girlfriend." Kate wondered why Gibbs looked like the cat who'd eaten the proverbial canary had just confessed to murder after hours of questioning.

"Who are you going with?"

"Abby." Gibbs smiled and stood up. "You're going with DiNozzo. Get a formal dress by a week from Saturday."

"Abby!" Kate shouted over the loud music blasting from Abby's speakers.

"What?" Abby's head popped up from behind a computer screen.

"You know that formal thing you're going with Gibbs to?" Kate perched herself on a desk.

"Yes…"

"He's assigning me to go with Tony." Abby winced in sympathy.

"That wasn't very nice of him."

"I know!" Kate started ticking off fingers. "First, he assumed I couldn't get myself a date. Second, he assumed nobody would ask me. Third, he assumed that I didn't care who I went with." She threw up her hands. "AND he assumed I didn't have a dress!"

"Well, do you?" Abby cocked her head to one side.

Kate frowned. "Well, no. But that's not the point."

Abby grabbed Kate's arm and headed for the door. "Come on. We're taking the afternoon off and we're going to find you a dress that'll knock Tony dead."

Kate sighed. "At least then I wouldn't have to put up with him…"

Meanwhile, Tony's reaction to the order to "find a tux, because you're taking Kate to that ball" was noticeably different. In fact, a reaction of any sort was markedly absent. Inside, he was of mixed opinion. On the one hand, he was glad for any excuse to take Kate out. He probably would have asked her, if Gibbs hadn't ordered it. If she'd said no, which was the likely answer, he would have just pretended he was being himself and joking.

On the other hand, the fact that she was ordered to go as his date wasn't going to do much for her attitude. Not that he blamed her, of course, but it was going to make her annoyed at Gibbs and at him. That wasn't a good thing.

Tony made a mental note to go check his closet to see if he still had his formal wear. Well, he'd just have to convince her he wasn't a playboy. Uphill battles were his specialty.

Abby spent the better part of the day before the ball at Kate's, getting ready.

"You know, for someone who doesn't have a thing for Gibbs, you're spending an awful lot of time on your appearance," Kate teased her. Abby had brushed out her pigtails, curling her hair until it lay gently across her bare shoulders. Her dress, which was black (what else?), was like a short sleeved dress with the top cut off. It clung tightly to her form, swirling out at the bottom. As she struggled to put on her high heels, she blushed.

"I just feel like I should look my best, since Gibbs is no doubt gonna look perfect, so I don't want to be shown up by my date."

Kate snorted. "Yeah, like that's all."

Abby grinned. "Well, you're sure obsessive for someone going with someone they say they hate."

It was Kate's turn to blush. "I never said I hated Tony… it's just annoyance." Her dress was a bright crimson red, which made her skin look paler and her hair blacker. The sleeves came to points on the backs of her hands, with a loop of ribbon that fit over her middle finger. It was tight and clingy all the way to the floor, and it showed off her years of physical conditioning. Her heels gave her a good three inches, putting her at around 5'9". Between both women, it had taken a good five hours to get looking perfect. They were both right. It was a lot of time to spend on getting ready for guys they claimed not to like…

Abby pointed at the door. "I think the guys are here."

"How did you know?" Kate narrowed her eyes. "The doorbell didn't ring."

Abby smiled. "I can hear them arguing about who should ring it." The doorbell rang loudly. "And Tony lost. Well, since he's your date, you open the door."

"Fine, fine…" Kate maneuvered her way to the door in her heels, and pulled it open. Tony was standing there, with Gibbs behind him. They both were dressed in very formal clothes. Kate managed to keep a straight face, but she hadn't been expecting how good Tony would look in a tux. Gibbs coughed slightly.

"Kate? You girls ready to go?"

"Uh, yeah. Hold on, let me go get Abby." She forced her mouth shut again and headed off to collect Abby. She found her waiting in the bathroom.

"Well? How'd they look?"

"Umm… Wow." Kate grinned.

Abby laughed. "That good?"

"Yeah. That good."

"Let's go, then!" Abby grabbed Kate and dragged her out to their waiting dates.

A/N: Ok, ok, this was supposed to be a one-shot. But it won't be. I promise I'll post the other half what is technically today or Monday. It'll be Tate and implied GAbby. And sorry about the cheesy sounding dress descriptions, but I wanted to get them out of the way so I didn't have to find spots to stick them in other places. I just want to break this up a bit, I still know exactly what's going to happen. Have fun!


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Yes, the apparently long-anticipated ending of "Fire Me, Or…" Anyhow, I had to put a lot of thought into this. I wondered, what would Tony do if given a chance to actually date Kate? Not flirt with, not ask out, actually date? Where she couldn't get away from him. Add "Caught On Camera" (which, in my insane universe, has happened at this point in time) flirting to the mix… Oh, dear God, there goes my imagination. If anyone sees it, will you let me know?

Fire Me, Or… 

Kate couldn't believe how dressed up everyone was. As she walked into the large rented hall on Tony's arm, the room before her dazzled her eyes with its brilliance. Men in tuxedos led women in brightly colored gowns past the golden drapes that hung from the walls. Her survey of the stunning array of people was interrupted by Tony's low voice.

"Can I ask you to dance?"

Kate raised a hand to the neckline of her dress self-consciously. Truth be told, she was feeling slightly unattractive compared to some of the incredibly elegant women she could see around her. Some of them were eyeing Tony, too, which only served to make her more uncomfortable. She had the horrible feeling that he was going to leave in the middle of this mandatory assignment and leave her alone while he went off and got some debutante's phone number. Might as well enjoy his company while he was still offering it. "Sure."

As he led her to the dance floor, Tony couldn't understand the look in her eyes. It looked almost… embarrassed. Why would she be embarrassed? She was gorgeous, and her well-defined muscles looked better to him than the skinny model-types who seemed to be the norm here. They had to be trophy wives, he decided. Nothing else would explain the overabundance of jewels and the lack of brain cells that appeared to prevail throughout the room.

"Hey, Tony?"

"Yeah, Kate?" With his arms wrapped around her waist and hers around his neck, they were in the perfect position to talk quietly.

"Were you serious? About the whole men and women can't just be friends thing?" The look on her face made him really think about his answer. She wasn't kidding.

"Honestly, it's never worked for me. And I hate to break it to you, but most married men who invite single women out for dinner with their wives aren't looking for companionship."

"I guess you're right." She looked slightly upset. "I mean, for crying out loud, that Sheriff even said that he wanted to have dinner with me WITHOUT his wife." The idea seemed to be getting to her. Tony felt like beating the crap out of the sheriff.

"Well, he's scum."

"Yeah, but look at the soldier! He trusted his wife when he was out defending the country and she betrayed him! She slept with his best friend."

"Well, again, scum. Kate, in this profession, we see the exceptions." He held her gaze steadily. "We see the people who kill for no reason at all. We see the small percentage of military personnel who do drugs, or launder money, or whatever. Most people aren't like that."

"I guess." She didn't look at all convinced. The song ended, and Tony led her over towards Abby and Gibbs.

"Hey, Abby. Boss."

"DiNozzo." Gibbs nodded curtly.

Abby grinned up at him. "So, kissed Kate yet?" Both Kate and Tony gaped at her. She giggled, wrapping her arm through Gibbs'. "You mean to tell me you didn't consider it? Stop looking like fish, you two."

Tony was about to respond when Kate beat him to it.

"Tony's not interested in me. He knows me." Her smile was slightly stiff, but Tony, being Tony, didn't notice.

Abby disentangled herself from Gibbs and grabbed Tony's arm. "Can I have a word with you?" She pulled him off as fast as she could move in her heels and dress. "What was that about?"

Tony sighed. "She asked if I thought she was attractive, I said yes. She said something along the lines of 'But you've never…' and it was pretty clear what she meant. I said no, I knew her. And then we went back to interrogation."

Abby whacked him upside the head after checking to make sure Kate couldn't see what they were doing. "Are you nuts? You blew a perfectly good chance to tell Kate how you felt about her! For crying out loud, must you be so dense all the time?"

"I don't know how I feel about her, so how can I tell her?"

Abby gave him an incredulous look. "You're in love with her Tony. It's obvious to me, it's obvious to McGee, hell, even Gibbs has mentioned that he's tired of you 'keeping your head up your ass instead of doing something about it'."

Tony did his fish impression again. "But… but… I thought rule twelve was no dating other agents!"

Abby snorted. "Come on. Gibbs thinks of you guys like the kids he never had. You make her happy. Go for it."

He shook his head. "It wouldn't work. She doesn't think of me that way. She thinks I'm a playboy with no problem chasing everything in a skirt."

Abby tilted her head up at him. "Then don't you think it hurts that you don't really chase her?" He looked at her blankly. "Like you said, you chase everything in a skirt. Except for Kate. That's a little hard on a woman's ego."

"I flirt with her!" Tony couldn't believe he was having this conversation with Abby.

"But you don't do what you do with other women. With other women, you don't comment on how they know what porn stars look like, you don't make incredibly sexual jokes. You actually flirt, because you actually want them to go out with you. You just have fun annoying Kate. And that makes her feel like you don't really find her attractive." She turned him around and pushed him in his date's general direction. "Go on, kiss her and get rid of that tension that's been building for months. You're making it hard to work in the office."

Another slow song had started, and Tony held out his hand to Kate as Gibbs went to fetch Abby. "Hey, can I get another dance?"

"Sure."

As he pulled her into his arms again, Tony tried to plan out what he was going to say. How do you tell a coworker that you're in love with her? That despite the fact that you have dated practically every woman in the city you really want to date her. And despite said reputation, you were ready to settle down with her, because you really didn't like any of the other women you've dated. He finally figured that simple was always the best.

"Hey, Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"I lied, earlier."

"About what?"

"Look, when I said men and woman couldn't be platonic friends, I was speaking from experience. In fact, you were the only woman I ever really made friends with without dating. But what I lied about was when you asked me if I'd ever ask you out. Look, I do know you, and you're just the sort of person my mother always dreamed I'd find. You're calm, level-headed, funny, smart, athletic, and you're incredibly beautiful." At this, she blushed. He took a deep breath to finish. "I didn't ask you out before because I was afraid you'd be exactly what I was looking for. It sounds stupid to say I was scared of commitment, but I was. I was worried you'd expect it to be a short-term thing and move on when I wanted it to last. That's why I never asked you out. So, since I've been waiting too long to do it…" He held her head in both hands so she was forced to look at him. "Caitlin Todd, will you go to dinner with me sometime?"

She blinked several times, hard. Tears welled up in the bottom of her eyes at his sincere words, and when she spoke she was obviously working really hard to keep her voice steady. "Wow, that's a one-eighty from earlier."

"Well, earlier, I didn't have Abby telling me how much of an idiot I am for passing up a chance to date you…" He grinned, but was acutely conscious of the fact that she still hadn't answered his question. "At least, a date not ordered."

"God, I think I love Abby now." Kate wiped her eyes furiously. "Yes, Tony, I'd like to go to dinner with you sometime."

Tony wanted to whoop, but he contented himself with wrapping his arms more tightly around her waist and kissing her lightly on the forehead. "I promise you that you will not regret this."

She smiled up at him. "I better not. Otherwise, your voice will be several octaves higher for a while."

He winced playfully. "What did I just get myself into?"

Kate wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her head on his chest. "I dunno, but I like it so far."

"Me too, Kate, me too."

A/N: There! Done! Ok, do people want a sequel? Because I suppose I could write about the first date or something, but I'll need some ideas. Leave a review with an idea for a place Tony would take Kate for a first date if you want to see a sequel.


End file.
